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PostPosted: Mon Jul 05, 2010 10:14 am 
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Following a bizarre dream I had last night in which Lionel Messi had signed for Leyton Orient, I have decided to start the ball rolling on a series of entirely untrue footballrumours.

Maybe they will be picked up by the Daily Mail in much the same way as last week when they reported a tweet from "Fake Steve Jobs" as actually being from Steve Jobs.

Anyway. here we go.

Roy Hodgson is going to appoint Dustin Hofman as his number two at Liverpool. Hogson has been a massive fan since "Tootsie" and reckons he will bring a much-needed gravitas to training. And "Rainman" will be shown once a week at the Melwood training ground.

Celtic and Rangers are to merge in a cost-cutting gesture aimed at pleasing George Obsborne. Worries about sectarian violence as a result of the merger have been dismissed by Des Lynam (Chairman of the new Ranetic club) as "piffle".

Leciester City are giving up fooball altogther but have entered a team in the East Midlands Girls' Waterpolo league.

Jan Molby was never and will never be Danish. He is actually from the small Devon village of Hennock and only took on his Scandinavian identity in an attempt to win a bet with "Black Geoff" at the Palk Arms.

Hull City goalie Mark Oxley "really likes" men.

(yes I am very busy at work)

Fake Jimbo Badger


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 05, 2010 11:33 am 
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Ha HAaaargh!

I not only heartily endorse these rumours but actively want all of them to be true.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 05, 2010 1:04 pm 
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Is 'Black Geoff' the one also referred to as "the souvenir from the war"?


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 05, 2010 2:08 pm 
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No. That is "Michael the Black". The Bovey Tracey ethnic minority.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 05, 2010 3:50 pm 
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badger wrote:
Jan Molby was never and will never be Danish. He is actually from the small Devon village of Hennock and only took on his Scandinavian identity in an attempt to win a bet with "Black Geoff" at the Palk Arms.


Ha! Genius.

Jan Molby is definitely from Hennock! In the same way that Bruce Grobbelaar is a Chudleigh man through and through and Emlyn Hughes is from Ashton. (Which is the title of my latest poetry collection).


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 12, 2010 3:22 pm 
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I definitely want to read "Emlyn Hughes is from Ashton".


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