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PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 1:09 pm 
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Now then. Given that the fact that the very first round of matches in the group stage has yet to finish I think it's the perfect time to be making these judgements...

...but seriously...

Boring matches played with a ball apparently unsuited to being kicked around in anything like an accurate or predictable manner.

Punditry and tv presentation so shockingly pleased with itself and half arsed that, from the clearly clinically depressed Keegan on ITV to the smug "I'm actually on holiday and won't even do any research" wankery of Lineker and pals on the Beeb, it makes me want to rub nettles on my balls and weep openly in the street (again).

THAT FUCKING DROANING SOUND.

...I'm beginning to wonder.

So, come on kibblers... convert me if you can, what's good about this world cup?


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 1:31 pm 
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Roque Santa Cruz, Paraguay. He's what's good. And his lovely thighs.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 2:12 pm 
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The astonishingly urbane and eloquent analysis of Patrick Veira proving, yet again, that when mastery of the English Language is required, it is to the Frenchman one must turn.

Agree about Lineker though. He makes me want to shit KIDNEY BEANS.

Every time I see his jug-eared face on the screen I want to rape him with the UK childhood obesity statisics. The full Power Point Version. Screen included.

I don't remember your England teams EVER winning their opening game at a World Cup, Gary, so take your orange-tanned Just-For-Men face and go fuck yourself you morbidly self-satisfied, traitorous, gutter-grubbing cunt.

And take that cotton-faced arsehole Lee Dixon with you.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 2:13 pm 
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That's certainly a good start.

The Paraguay kit is certainly cool and Santa Cruise looks FINE in it.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 3:49 pm 
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I like the refs grabbing the ball off of a plinth at the start - theatatrical. Its almost saying "this is a game worthy of a plinth".

The fact that Adrian Chiles is on another continent entirely.

The fact that the England Team Doctor used to look after my 80+ mother-in-laws hiatus hernia and so is clearly qualified and able to look after 23 of our finest footballers who are also a bunch of old women..

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Get round the back"


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 4:00 pm 
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fitz wrote:
The fact that the England Team Doctor used to look after my 80+ mother-in-laws hiatus hernia and so is clearly qualified and able to look after 23 of our finest footballers who are also a bunch of old women..


No. That can't be true, Fitz. Can it? CAN IT? If it is true, it's quite comfortably the best thing I've ever seen written down.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 4:56 pm 
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His name is Dr Ian Beasley.

And my wife made me rewind the telly so that she could watch him ministrate one of the players on Saturday night and squeal at the telly about how brilliant he is. Used to work for Arsenal apparently.

this is he:

http://www.newhamuniversityhospital.nhs ... 3186f584a6

this he to:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/footba ... tball.html

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Get round the back"


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 5:08 pm 
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I agree it's not been brilliant, but I really do think the commentary has made it much worse. I can't take a minute more of the whinging Cnuts on 5Live.

I think the Africans are clearly mad for it. I like that. And I don't mind the vuvuzelas (although I'm glad my next door neighbours don't own one).

I am quite enjoying it though, even some of the crap matches.

And... of course... there's a KIBBLE!

Incidentally, given the recent run of things, it may well be worth a bet against Brazil in tonights match - there are odds of up to 30-1 etc. I've put a couple of quid on The Baddies.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 18, 2010 2:52 pm 
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It's come alive though now, hasn't it. I guess we always forget that the first lot of matches are cagey affairs. Also, it starts off as a league and only becomes the crazy must-win cup competition that we love and remember in the latter stages of the tournament.

I can't wait for the England match tonight. I'm like a boy with a new FINGER!

David James to let in a howler. Another 1-1 draw. A clearly not fit Gareth Barry huffs and puffs in midfield before making way for Joe Cole who replaces Gerrard who goes back into central midfield.

Shearer and Lineker to sit and whinge in their extremely expensive custom-built studio on the roof of a local hospital and make patronising comments about the poverty they see all around them.


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