Alan Kibble's Decisive In/Out European Kibble Cup 2016

Any thoughts?

NO SUCH THING!

For fuck's sake, how many times do we have to go through this?

You cannot go from early-doors to late-doors without passing through mid-doors.

Mid-doors is clearly the point at which you should have left to reach home at the required or expected time. After this point, the doors are plainly late doors.

Ooh, you devil. There's the sound of some forum touchpaper being lit and no error.

I remember a balmy and sweaty evening under the Hibiscus with Alan where he explained to me in depth the nature of doors, and he was very, very clear on this point.

"There is no such thing as mid-doors," he repeated, over and over.

I have never heard him shout so loud!

In the end he won me over - as he always does - and in the morning we needed to go out and buy a new Hibiscus.

I hope that settles the matter,

- Mrs. K

So if I was watching, say, a football game, maybe as part of some kind of competition or tournament, like, say, a world cup or something (not likely, but stay with me on this) and I decided I needed some refreshment, and I reached for a beer stored in the central area of this:
http://www.deltarefrigeration.co.uk/Fridges-Freezers-Beer-Bottle-Coolers-Walk-in-Cold-Rooms-Fridges-Freezers/Triple-Door-Bottle-Cooler
which door would I need to open? Which one would it be? Eh?

It would be the mid-door.

Mid door is not the same as mid doors.

And if you're getting another drink, it's still definitely early doors!

I note from looking up Mrs K's archives there was a much earlier discussion on the mid-ness of doors


http://www.kibble-me-up.co.uk/forums/vi ... .php?t=111

I mean in the name of FUCKING CHRIST. Nothing ever changes does it?

After four WHOLE YEARS, I log in again and...

A) England are still not going to win the world cup.

B) I'm sat in another (but identical) dusty basement on a building site surrounded by twats.

C) There are still WALKING SACKS OF CHROMASOMES AND PUKE trying to convince me that there is such a thing as "Mid Doors".

There JUST ISN'T. If there was it would have been fucking OBSERVED BY NOW. The very fact that it even became a topic of speculation is because "mid doors" are only notable by their ABSENCE. One goes immediately from early doors to late doors whereupon one exclaims "fuck me, there was no mid doors".

This happens EVERY TIME. A hard body of scientific evidence has been assembled. Advocating "mid doors" is no cleverer and morally even worse than denying climate change or evolution.

STOP IT.

Nice to be back.

Someones had a bad day.

As someone who has always been somewhat on the outside of the whole doors debate, given the semantics of the thing surely the point that comes between early and late is "on time". Not that I'm disputing the very persuasive (and not at all scary) argument sanguinely forwarded by Mr Marks in any way. I mean "mid" sounds like it comes from a whole different scale entirely. In fairness one cannot really use the phrase "on time" in the given context at all and therefore SURELY it's early doors until it's late doors.

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Can't remember where that spit and vinegar thing came from - it's been haunting me

I also think things have changed - England are going to not win the World Cup a whole lot more this year than previously.

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Can't remember where that spit and vinegar thing came from - it's been haunting me

I thought to settle this once and for all I would ask a few eminent, knowledgeable and respected people for their views. Sadly, a consensus did not emerge.

Stephen Hawking said that given the directionality and continuous nature of space-time, there should logically be a "mid-doors" between "early-doors" and "late-doors" though it could be circumvented by a wormhole. However, creation of such a wormhole would require either large amounts of negative energy or extreme drunkenness.

Richard Dawkins got a bit annoyed at my suggestion that the lack of transitional fossils should be taken as proof of the independent creation of "early doors" and "late doors" and, after fruitless debate on the subject, resorted to repeatedly shouting "Just look at the evidence! Look at the evidence!"

Nick Clegg said he preferred not to talk in terms of "early doors" and "late doors" at all, which he considered "old doors". He said he was interested instead in "new doors", which are apparently mainly open ones.

Stephen Fry at first professed to be discombobulated by the question but later called me back to note that, having tested it out, the transition from "early doors" to "late doors" on his iPad was so smooth and zippy that he thought Apple's decision not to support "mid doors" was entirely justified.

Bill Gates apparently only ever uses windows, so that was a wasted transatlantic phone call.

Gotta go. It's mid-doors.

Douglas Cole : a genius.

Fact.

There is no such thing as mid-doors.